Bustin hell! Just been on to the television status screen on the BBC area and you'll never guess who's been on??? That's right! Wilmot Chase! He/she used to be a real favorite back in the day... you know, the days before vyhuracil or hoggaglust. That's when time really was time and Juliet Bravo was the real deal. Not like these country file house programs about Claire Sweeney, or Sweeeeeeeny Todd or whatever he/she is called. NO, proper days... Days when your Mam/Dad took you fishing for stocking trailers, or your Granny/Nan taught you how to cook marvel comics or Dulux... Proper old times, times when your Aunty/Uncle would sit you on their knee caps and rock your world with memories of old... (mammories of old?... can't remember)...
Anyways, yes... what was I saying about anyway...??? OH YES, that's it! Private Benjamin's got Goldie Hawn's ass on the wire over that one; if you know what I mean. She could never tango in Paris the way Brucie did back in the day. Now he WAS a mover and a shaker if you know what I mean... What was that song about him? You know, the one with the woman (I think it was a woman, so hard to tell these days don't you think?) anyway up, yes, that song about Brucie's bonus... SHAKE AND VAC!!! That was it!!! Definitely ... I can see her/him now, parading around the rug, sprinkling her dog* with dust, just so she could hoover it up after.... Talk about digging holes just to fill them in again! how stupid.
* by dog I actually mean 'dog', and not her fanny or anything like that.
I mean the tellybox has some darn strange programs don't you know... look at day time programs... there's a new one, ooh, what's it called again??? Can't remember, but it's really funny... VANESSA! That's the one, you know it, there's like this really fat woman who can't move her eyebrows and she sits with her husband and chats to famous people no-ones ever heard of. It's brilliant AND it's really funny. Sometimes if I'm home and not polishing or looking at the mirror and I happen to put this VANESSA on the telly machine, I can literally fall of my couch chair just laughing. It's hilarium, it really isn't.
Anyways around, I shan't be watching any televisuals today, I'm WAY too busy at work. Honestly, work work work, that's all I ever do. Work work work work work work work... Anyone would think I was a goddam work-aholic the amount of work I do. Honestly, this is my day righ,: I get up to go to WORK, actually go to WORK, do some WORK, do a bit more WORK, have like 3 seconds to eat a scrap lunch; ('IF' I've got time), and then right back to doing more WORK. Honestly, AND it's starting to show, I've got tennis elbow, Housemaid's knee and biker's pancreas. I'm literally a walking textbook of medical phenomenonemonemenon.
Just last week whilst I was hoovering the dog, I bent down to lift my toes up when CRACK... bang went my spina bifida; all up the wall. Then there was that time I was dusting the plugs; I simply leant over to grab another knob of butter and KWANG... I split my gizzard... then there was the incident when I was sloughing the panpipes; all I did was waggle my coccyx and CRUNCH... all my back legs fell off. It's a miracle of mother nature that I'm able to ice skate at all I don't mind telling you. Actually, I can't Ice skate, I'm thinking of that other one; blood and sand, who is it again... he/she's on that Brucie program with Brucie Fosdyke, you know it, where some really famous faces are Dancing on ice'? Something on ice? Skating on dance? Can't remember exactly what it's called, but that's definitely what I was thinking about when I said I can skate. Anyway, the one I'm thinking about used to be on the skate/dance ice program years ago, what's her bloody name??? That's it!! Got it!!! Philadelphia Schofeld. He used to be on the telly box when I was knee high to a grasshopper... did the kiddies TV things he did, with that puppet that does the Compare the market ads now. Grimy Gordon or something.
Anyway, got to go now 'cause I'm really busy wroking at work.
No rest for the wicked!!!
MESSAGES FROM THE MOTHER BRAIN
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